March results of the Image Experiment

What I learnt this month experimenting with my image:

  • I lost 5% of my body weight without any conscious effort.
  • I discovered a new rendition of beauty
  • Pantene is the oldest, cheapest and best thing for silky hair
  • Pinterest is the best thing for figuring out what you want to look like

Throwback to what the Image Experiment is. Basically, me, a pretty average-looking millennial girl, who isn’t very appearance-conscious, just enough to own a few Marc Jacobs bags and Hermes scarves, but not to wear them very often, trying to follow the cool kids’ image trends.

Null hypothesis: for a woman with no obvious image problems, there is no benefit in working on her image by using popular make up routines (I have changed this to following trends and paying more attention to how she looks in general). H1: for a woman with no obvious image problems, there is a benefit in working on her image by following trends and paying more attention to how she looks in general.

I.

I lost 5% of my body weight without any conscious effort.

Numbers? 3 kg, or 7 pounds, in one month. No hunger. No gym. No BS, as they say. Not even a new fancy water bottle.

Historically, my appetite goes up and down, for months at a time, and there doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to it.

As a consequence, my weight has always fluctuated. I wish it didn’t because I end up with a proliferation of different size clothes, but fighting it is a monumental investment of energy I am not prepared to make. Thus, I go between a BMI of 22 and 26. My self-esteem follows closely.

I wonder if doing my Image Experiment caused this latest appetite decline. One of the premises of the experiment was that “when we signal to others, we signal to ourselves, just a little bit.” I am starting to think that this is indeed true. After all, when you are aware that others are looking at you, you behave differently. Not necessarily better or worse, just differently.

Being more cognisant that I am not alone in this world, I guess I became more in tune with my belief that a certain range of weight is fundamental to looking maximally well. (Sorry I am not more #bodypositive). Since I do want to engage with people around me, I want to make it is easy as possible. And it is easier when you look well. Hence, the weight change. Or so I hypothesise.

II.

I discovered a new rendition of beauty.

I have done the dirty deed of using the discover section of Instagram. Usually, the cat photos cheer me up. The photos of people’s lifestyles? Not so much. Yeah, yeah, don’t compare yourself. Yeah, it’s a highlight reel. Yeah, they are all edited, often professionally – and taken by photographers. But still.

This time though, I was cheered up alright. I found an ethnic girl who was really stunning. Does she look beautiful in the usual Western, Hollywood sense? I don’t think so. Her eyebrows are weird, her chin is too pointy, her lips aren’t big enough, she doesn’t try to go for the same type of sexy look that we’re used to seeing.

There was something refreshing and life-affirming about seeing this. It’s not quite beauty in all shapes and sizes, again sorry #bodypositive people, but it is something to do with diversity. (P.S. To annoy supporters of social constructionism even more: despite being indoctrinated with images of people like Charlise Theron and Michelle Pfeiffer all my life, I still think this girl is stunning. Explain?)

Me by very talented @soposoposopochka 🖤

A post shared by Tamuna Tsiklauri (@tamunatsiklauri) on

III.

As for the goodies you see in the photo, all of them are 5/5.

I heard a lot of bad things about Pantene: that it makes your hair fall out, etc, but I’ve used it at various point all my life and I think it’s great. And very cheap for what it is. Hair was super silky and light after using the conditioner and the 1 minutes ampoules. The ampoules in the box are actual real plastic ampoules, you have to break the top off, as if it’s heparin or something. They would make you feel very much like “stand back, I am doing science”, if you’re a five year old, that is.

The L’Oreal clay facial wash with charcoal is actually black, which feels odd, but it’s nice and leaves your skin supple.

The Freeman clay mask with sea minerals is phenomenal. One of the best I tried. It’s violently electric blue though, so apply privately and in confidence.

The Seba Med thing came in the Birchbox, it is like paint stripper, only it didn’t cause excess dryness, to my great surprise. I would still use sparingly. Birchbox is increasingly useless, but anyway, I will keep subscribed for the time being.

I also tried the Herbal Essences Dry Shampoo. It was a lot more palatable, I should really say more tolerable, though some does inevitably make its way onto your soft palate, than the more common Batiste variety. Even though it’s not tinted, this dry shampoo wasn’t very noticeable in my hair, which is a great thing (because the tinted varieties prevent you from touching your hair, unless you’re planning to wash your hands straight after that or look like a coal miner). But you really, really have to shake it like a gin fizz. If not, you’ll end up with wet hair like I did when I first tried it.

IV.

To figure out what it is I want to look like, I made a Pinterest board. It really helped, and it’s great for making shopping lists. All these beautiful people have done the hard work of figuring out what goes well together and so all I have to do is pick and choose. Or basically, copy what they did. Handy!

The only downside is that now I am convinced I need an Yves Saint Laurent bag.

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It’s that simple

A 60 year old woman told me today that she lost 10 kg (22 pounds) in the space of one month, without starving herself, etc. Her bloods even look better. Of course, she has a lot to lose (say 30-40 kg), but I just think it’s so amazing when people do actually do it.

I asked her what was the main cause she could identify – giving her a few a few options, such as changing what she eats, exercise, a life event?

And she said, “not overeating”.

And simple truth miscalled simplicity, indeed.

Appearance vs reality

Sometimes I get tired  and retreat into a safe echo-chamber where everything will agree with me. On that note, I downloaded The Black Swan and bought a paper copy of The Bed of Procrustes.

Perhaps my expectations were too high, but The Black Swan seems dated and overly reliant on Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow.

I will share some gems from The Bed of Procrustes when I am done, but for the most part it doesn’t have the insight porn quality that I was looking for.

On another note, I noticed some autumnal waistline creep and decided that I should take measures.

During a moment of intense boredom with a hint of sadness, I complained that had I not been watching what I eat, I could have had a chocolaty pick-me-up, alas I am on a diet, so I will just sit here and be sad.

I was and am fully aware of how pathetic that is, but I figured sharing my feelings is better than comfort eating.

The reason I am sharing with you now is the response I got, which was:

How will food make it better?

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I guess normally I would have said, it would make me feel better. However, I was just after writing an essay on appearance vs reality in Macbeth and the idea that the reality won’t be better crystallised for me.

The world weighs a little heavier since that realisation, but maybe I won’t.